Everyone has a story to tell and not everyone has an opportunity to share their true self with others. Today’s interview is with a Suicide Girl Raenie who shares with us what it means to be an SG. Acceptance, perseverance, openness and judgment free zone. Follow her on the gram @raenie_daze or her onlyfans page @raenie
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Lexirae please tell us a little about yourself.
R: Hi! Well to start, it is just Raenie. I had changed my modeling name after my late cat died seven years ago
How did you develop an interest in modeling, fashion, traveling and expressing yourself through the camera lens?
R: I got into modeling because one of my best friends was starting out to be a photographer and he asked if I could model for him. Our work ended up being so amazing, and I had so much fun, that I wanted to keep doing it. I’ve always struggled with my self-esteem, but when I saw what we created, I saw a side of me that others saw that I didn’t, and I gained an ounce of confidence, for the first time in my life. At first, I started with fashion modeling. Then I got braver and did lingerie/boudoir. I have not had a whole lot of opportunity to travel, mostly due to funds and the fact that I have a two-year-old son and working multiple jobs 😂 But I’m working to change that!! I want to be able to occasionally travel to maintain my sense of self.
Tell us a little about your tattoos. Do they all have some type of meaning?
R: My tattoos mostly speak of my life. The Japanese cherry blossoms symbolize a transition of life. The petals from my cherry blossoms morph into sparrows; so together they mean the transition of life into a strong, independent character. My geisha symbolizes my desire to escape reality, because of the trauma that I have had. My kois symbolizes that I have obstacles in my life that I constantly try to overcome (so does everyone else..such is life). One of my kois has a dragon head to symbolize that I am dedicated to working hard to overcome life’s obstacles and I WILL succeed. My sleeve has a masked woman so symbolize us as humans – we hide our true selves.
Under her is a shattered hourglass to symbolize life to death. And the sand from the hourglass pours into my Mandala (universe) with my spirit animal, the wolf. This sleeve describes how as humans, we hide our true selves to avoid being judged, criticized, etc., but when we die, we are all the same and we simply return to the universe as one. I have some Harry Potter and Alice in Wonderland tattoos because these fantasy worlds anchor me, and I love them. Then I have my son’s tattoo on my ankle with a jellyfish because he is my peace❤️
How much is part of your life about being a Suicide Girl?
R: The way I live my life is an embodiment of all things SG – openness, acceptance, love. I will never pass judgment on someone unless I know the whole story from both sides. I will always support other girls who are working hard to do their best to survive in this world – it is not easy for women nowadays in this society. We are constantly judged for what we do, say, wear. And a lot of girls put down other girls, and that is just so rude and sad.
If you could give your younger self advice, what would it be?
R: My advice – never give up what you love for a boy (or girl). A lot of our relationships through the early part of our lives are temporary. Do not give up what you love for those people. Your forever partner would never ask you to give up what you love.
When looking for a photographer to work with, what do you look for that seals the deal and makes for the best work relationship?
R: Most photographers I have worked with are referred by my fellow models. To work with them a second time, though, I favor the photographers who are professional and chat and joke but do not make inappropriate comments.
If your best friend could tell us a funny story about you, what would it be?
R: My best friends would know the story cause they would be right there with me 😂 I think the only appropriate funny story right now would be when I went on blind date 2 hours from where I lived when I was 19, and it went so bad that I texted one of my friends to get me out of there and he called me, pretending to be drunk and said I needed to pick him up. So, I apologized to the guy and left to “pick up my friend”.
What does it mean to you to be a suicide girl?
R: To be SG is to love yourself and love those around you. It is an amazing community that just supports its members. I was bullied throughout high school, but to the SG community, I am a star, I am loved, and I’m encouraged to follow my dreams. This is the kind of support and love that everyone needs in their lives.
With Covid 2020, what are you looking forward to in the new year?
R: I am looking forward to a new life!! My ex and I had been drifting apart for a long time, and we finally filed for divorce. He will be moving out in a week, and I think with the direction that life is moving, I think only great things will come!
Lastly, tell us about your dream collaboration, who is it and why?
R: I want to shoot with EVERY SINGLE other SG!!! I’m blessed to be in a community with so many beautiful women. And I want to share all the beauty with the world!!!
